Thursday, July 28, 2016

A Writer Writes

"You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say." F. Scott Fitzgerald

Five years ago, I started this blog. I needed an outlet for the pain and grief and agony of having my baby born still. I was home on leave and supposed to be nursing her and bathing her and loving her and instead, I was grieving her. The house was so silent. My life felt still. I was also grieving the loss of myself for I knew that I was never going to be the same.

I have blogged 308 times. This entry makes 309. I have been told time and time again that my voice is strong, my message is clear and that I have a lot of interesting things to say.
Well guess what? I am finally listening.

It took for me to go "viral" for me to get it. When Jennifer Weiner, an author I so respect and admire, shared my last blog and quoted from it, I finally got it. I am a writer. I have been for at least five years. That post has now been read over 3,500 times! It's time to compile my thoughts and ideas and try to make a cohesive story. I simply cannot put it off any longer.

I have so much I want to say. I believe that what I am in a strong result of the society in which I was raised. When my dad came out in the 80's, everyone was worried he had AIDS. Being gay and being sick were the same thing. Except they were not.

My family and friends helped me navigate my youth. Many are still an active part of my life today. All of them support me no matter what.

I have turned to Judaism at times to help me understand the why. I have turned to food many times to comfort me. I use my sense of humor to make light of certain situations and I am grateful for the ability to laugh so hard that I cry.

In spite of my outgoing presence and overwhelming wit, I am also very shy and spent so much time worried about what others would think of me. I preached about self confidence when I was sorely lacking some of my own. I made some bad choices but I also made some very good choices.

All of these (and much more) make me who I am. Make my voice what it is.

My goal is to share that with whomever wants to read.

I will still keep my blog, but I will be focusing on crafting some new stories, too. I suspect it might be painful to go back in time and experience my life again, but I am ready for it. Writing my story may be the best kind of therapy yet.

Thank you all for taking this journey with me. Buckle up, we are about to take this trip up a notch. Turns out I have a lot more to say!

u don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say. F. Scott Fitzgerald
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/fscottfit162083.html
You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say. F. Scott Fitzgerald
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/fscottfit162083.html

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