Thursday, May 5, 2016

MY Day

Mother's Day is around the corner. It will be nice to celebrate my mom and all that she is to us. It will also be nice to celebrate ME, because what is not to love about that?

I have a hard time accepting that Sunday is my day. I feel like every day that I get to be a mom is Mother's Day. However, it's nice to slow down and rejoice.

I love being a mom. So much more than I ever thought I would. Yet having a day to honor that seems strange to me. I am not sure why. 

Being a mom is exhilarating and fun and challenging. It's also dirty and gross and exhausting. 

Lately I have been struggling with the idea that I deserve happiness. I know it my heart I do, but I have been behaving as if I do not. Then I put my mom hat on and think about what I want for my daughter and that helps me decide what I want for myself. Being a mom has taken me outside of myself in more ways than I can describe.

Do I want my child to beat herself up if she eats poorly one day? Of course not! Do I want Miranda to subconsciously put herself down and think negative thoughts about her body? Absolutely not! So why, then, do I allow myself to think and act in a way that I would not want for her?

I am teaching my daughter to think for herself. To form her own opinions. To stand up for what she believes in. We set boundaries and steer her in certain ways, but the joy of parenting to me is watching her true self emerge.

What about my true self? I spend so much time in my head, worrying about things that are out of my control and beating myself up for this, that, or the other thing. Well, if I do not want that for Miranda, then I better start wanting better for myself.

"Millions of people across the globe take the day as an opportunity to honor their mothers, thank them for their efforts in giving them life, raising them and being their constant support and well wisher." 

So here's to Mother's Day. Here's to all the moms. The ones that struggle with who they are and who they want to be. The ones who have it all figured out and could teach a class. And to all the ones in-between! Enjoy your day.

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