Sunday, January 17, 2016

Blank Slate

A blank slate is defined as ..."someone or something that is still in an original state and that has not yet been changed by people, experiences, etc."

The best part about a new job? You are a blank slate.

I went into work with a different attitude this week. I changed my perspective and saw the job as a way to pay for daycare and groceries, a way to have some grown-up time, a way to rediscover who I am and a way to start anew.

It was MUCH better. I met a lot of people. I observed some training classes. I got to go on two site visits. I learned how the company was formed and what makes it different from other companies like it and I got some basic understanding of what will be expected of me.

I can so do this for 24 hours a week! Three days a week is not so bad...and it means I get four days a week to be home with my rainbow.

No one knows me there. I am not the woman who used to do this or used to do that. I am not fat or thin or somewhere in-between. I am not a grieving mother. 

Eventually, I am sure I will meet someone with whom I want to share my past. There will be people that I want to get to know me. I hope there are people that I want to get to know as well. In the meantime, though, I kind of like being anonymous.

Someone down the row from where I sit went into labor this week. Everyone was telling birth stories and labor stories and I just sat there and nodded my head and listened. No one stopped talking because I was there. No one tilted their head because I was there. No one even noticed I was there, actually! It was bliss.

I love my life. I really do. I also love that every once and a while, I can blend into the background and just "be". There is something to be said for that.

My birthday is this week. I doubt anyone will decorate my desk or take me to lunch. I doubt they will even be aware of the date. But my family and loved ones do. We have already started celebrating. That is more than enough.

In elementary school, our report cards had lots of spaces for grades. I remember one marking period, I got 42 A's. My dad, who was rarely around, make such a big deal out of the 42 A's. He was so proud. I decided then that 42 would be my favorite number.

I will be 42 on Thursday. Will my favorite number now be my favorite year?

Fake it till you make it. Day 2 with my head held high!
From Gary and Miranda for my new desk
In the company limo heading out on a field trip!

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