Wednesday, February 17, 2016


“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”
― John Lubbock

Since becoming a mother, my perspective on so many things have changed. Things that used to seem so cut and dry to me are now often more complicated. Things that used to seem to complex and convoluted, now seem simple and obvious. Come to think of it, I am not sure how much of it is motherhood and how much of it is age.

I lived through the OJ Simpson saga. I remember being in college and watching the Bronco chase on the TV in our living room. I remember a professor wheeling in a large TV into our classroom on the day the verdict was read. I studied Communications and English Literature so I doubt it was a History class. I think it was just such a big part of our culture that the teacher wanted to make sure we know that history was in the making.

Twenty years later, I am watching the drama unfold all over again on the new FX mini-series. I am fascinated by it still. This time, though, I do not really care about OJ Simpson. I care about his children. Where were they then? Where are they now? When I was in college, I do not even remember knowing that there were kids involved.

Last week, I watched a new Grey's Anatomy. I am fully aware that this show reached its peak YEARS ago, and yet I can't seem to let it go. Spoiler alert: Meredith was attacked. Spoiler alert: She is fine. Over the course of the episode, though, she was hospitalized for six weeks. Where were her kids? Who took care of them? What did she miss while she was away?

Is that perspective? Or is is that my life so much revolves around my girls that I can't imagine a story or an event or a blip in time without them? I am in the midst of planning Miranda's third birthday party and already anticipating how exciting the event will be. I am also wondering how to celebrate Allie's birthday this year. The year she should be turning five. Five! Kindergarten and sleepovers and school buses and so much more she will never get to experience.

Is it true that "what we see depends mainly on what we look for"? If I want to see the good in people, I do. When I chose to see the not-so-good, I do that as well. Is that perspective? Is it wisdom? Is it neither? Is it both?

I do not have all the answers. I doubt I ever will. I just thought it was interesting that my mind seems to gravitate now towards the children and what I, as a mom, would do in any given situation. I guess it's all a matter of perspective. And maybe the fact that I watch too much TV!

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