No, this is not an old blog. It's a very current one. If I am going to document my weight loss journey, then I must show all sides.
There was the losing side. The pictures of me in various dressing rooms as I went down size after size after size. The excitement. The pride. The skinny jeans.
There was the stabilization side. The reintroduction of certain foods back into my diet. The pizza. The ice cream. The wine.
Now there is the maintenance side. The realization that I have not conquered my weight. I did not "fix" myself because in truth, I was not broken. What I was, though, was someone who made bad choices and when left to my own devices, turns out, will sometimes make them again.
But not so fast.
Now I know to step on the scale if I am not eating well to see the damage. Now I know to lace up my sneakers even if I am tired. Now I know that I am not the kind of person who can eat whenever or wherever I want. I need to plan. I need to prepare. I need to not forget all that I learned about myself and my body and I need to make sure I always remember why I wanted to lose the weight in the first place.
I want to be around for the long haul. I want to be able to play with my daughter without being winded. I want her to be proud of me. I want me to be proud of me.
I am. And one day, she will be. Not because I am "thin" or a size 10, but because I took the steps necessary to put myself first and take care of myself.
The numbers on the scale do not define me. The numbers on the tags do not own me. It is up to me to make smart choices and if it is a struggle, then so be it. After all, isn't what we struggle for the most sometimes what we also appreciate the most?
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