Run!

Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a runner.  I bought new sneakers, I trained for a bit and then life got in the way. 

A few months ago, I got the bug again.  This time, I downloaded an app for my phone and made myself promise that 2 days a week when Miranda went to daycare, I would run.  And I did.  I also picked 1 day on the weekend and ran then.  Finally, once my training was complete, I signed up for my first race.

The race was this past Saturday.  It was cold.  It was wet.  It was nasty.

So we changed our plan.  Instead of Gary and Miranda and my mom cheering me on, we dropped Miranda off at my mom's house and Gary decided to run the race with me.  No sense waiting by the finish line when he could just as easily be by my side.

There were also a lot of runners from my old job there as well.  That company had helped sponsor the race.  It was nice to see the familiar faces and the vibe overall was very positive.

I did not get to warm up the way I wanted and before I knew it, it was time to go.  I ran over the starting line and let out a "WOO HOO!" and we were off.

Probably about 2 minutes later, I lost my enthusiasm.  Rain was mixing with sweat and I was soaked to the bone.  I felt heavy and winded and wondered why I had even bothered.

And then I remembered.  I bothered because I want to be healthy.  I bothered because I want to be around for a long time to come.  I bothered because it was good to set a goal and go after it.

Do I love running?  HA!  No.  I wish I could say that I did.  Do I love the feeling I get from running?  Absolutely.

I tried to channel Allie during my run but I came up with nothing.  I tried to focus on Miranda but that did not help.  I tried to think of the things my family can and will do if I am around for a long time to come and that is what kept me going.  I need to be here to do those things and I need to be here to keep the memories safe.

Eventually we neared the finish line.  I was still going!!!  

There was a crowd cheering me on as we neared the end.  There was my biggest supporter right behind me (who was gracious enough to let me "beat" him).  I took my  headphones out so I could really experience the moment. And I did.

Will I run another one?  Maybe.  I am not sure yet. What I do know is that I woke up this morning, laced up my sneakers and went for a run.  Got my best time yet.  So you just never know.