Whatever It Takes

More than once over the past few months, acupuncture was suggested to me.  I politely listened as people told me to try it, but knew with all the doctor's appointments that I have that my calendar is already pretty full and promptly dismissed the idea.

My fertility specialist recommended a few tests to rule out any medical issues that could prevent me from getting pregnant.  So in the last 2 weeks, I have had my lady parts examined in all sorts of ways.  I am talking xrays, cameras on catheters, blood and urine tests...the works (if I was a car wash!)  So far, all the results look good.  I seem fine.  But my stress level is off the charts.

So I decided that if I was going to submit to all these tests and do whatever it takes to make Allie a big sister, maybe it was time to try the holistic approach, too.  I reached out to someone in my support group and asked her for the name of the acupuncturist that she used and I promptly made an appointment.

When I arrived at the office yesterday, I was a little bit nervous, but mainly excited!  I had heard of the healing benefits of acupuncture over the years and was looking forward to trying it.  I filled out the extensive intake forms and checked every box that applied to me.  If I do something, I like to go at it 100%!  Anxiety?  Sometimes.  Depression?  Uh, yeah.  Fertility issues?  Yup.  The list went on.

When my acupuncturist called me back to the room (there must be a name for it, but I have no clue!) we sat in opposing chairs and went over my reason for being there.  We talked and talked and I got to tell some of Allie's story.  As sad as it is, I sure love the chance to talk about her.  How my pregnancy was perfect and for the most part, easy.  How she was our first born.  How we could not wait to meet her.  How she died before we got the chance.

We discussed the body's reaction to extreme stress and how it can be compared to when you are in the bathroom and someone knocks on the door and you just freeze.  Your body stops what it was doing out of fear.  She was not suggesting that delivering a baby still was anything like that, but simply saying if that is what happens to your body when you are going to the bathroom, imagine what happens to your body when you are told you have to deliver a baby that will never cry?

We talked some more and then she told me that I would first lie on my back and she would apply needles to certain pressure points. Then she would come back and I would lie on my belly and she would apply some needles to my back.  There was music playing softly in the background and when she left, she dimmed the lights.

First she swabbed the pressure points with alcohol wipes.  Then she inserted the needles.  One to my forehead, one on each side of my face near me ears, one on each wrist and hand and I think a few on my knees and feet.  It was hard to look!  The needles pricked a little bit when they were applied, but it was really hardly noticeable.

Then she left and I was alone.  Alone with my thoughts.  Slowly my thoughts went from, "OMG, I have needles in me!!" to "Huh.  This is kinda cool.  And super relaxing!".  I started to pay attention to my breathing and my breath in general.  My mind went blank and I drifted off to a place halfway between awake and asleep.

I think it was about 30 minutes before she came back removed those needles so that I could flip over and she could work on my back.  That time she told me it would be 15 minutes until she came back.  I found myself drifting sooner this time and really concentrating on just the moment and not much else.  It was exhilarating!

So I am going back next week. Acupuncture does not "cure" but it helps align the mind and the body.  It helps straighten everything out and hopefully put your roller coaster back on the rails.  At least that is how I see it.  And if I am going to let everyone in the medical community poke and prod me, then I think it's only fair to try this route, too.  If it helps, hallelujah!  If it doesn't, I am not worse off, but much more relaxed!  Whatever it takes, right?