Moving Right Along

I can tell what kind of mood my daughter is in just by looking at her. A smirk means she's feeling feisty. A frown means she's feeling down. A smile means she is feeling adventurous. A blank stare means nothing good because that means she will surprise me with her mood and I am not someone who cherishes surprises. 

I plan her outfits each day with pride. Some days she wears what I choose, and other days she fights me something fierce. The days she wants to be a jaguar, for example. I have no hope of winning on those days. 

I sit in the backroom of her dance class and listen to her tap tap tapping to the music from the stereo. I talk to the other parents about activities and colds and birthday parties, and I always leave with a smile on my face.

I am a mom. I am an active, participating, involved mom. I love being a mom. I did not always know that being a mom was going to be my greatest role, but it has become that for sure. 

Lately, though, I have been feeling restless. 

Henry David Thoreau wrote, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." 

Am I living? Truly? 

I decided I was, but not in the most deliberate way that I could. So I started to focus on going back to work. Right now, I only want part-time hours. I want my Mondays and Fridays home with Miranda, at least until she goes to Kindergarten in the Fall. 

I tried that schedule a few years ago, and I got burned out fast. So now I know what does not work for me, and I went on a quest to find what does work for me. 

I accepted an offer earlier today. I will be the new Volunteer Coordinator for a local agency that is working to end domestic violence. I will recruit, screen, and interview volunteer candidates. I will develop and arrange training and placement for the volunteers. I will help out with special events and make sure the agency is represented at community events, health fairs and more. In short, I will help other women find their way. 

I am not sure how I could be a better fit! Thankfully, I have no knowledge of domestic violence first hand. However, I know plenty about survival, and I have the non-profit and training skills from my past experiences that make me the ideal candidate for the job. 

To say I am excited is an understatement. I am putting myself out there, which is terrifying, but I am doing it to continue to be the best version of myself that I can be. With more of a routine and structure to my days, I also think my freelance writing will improve. I have been unmotivated of late, and that does not look good on me.

So here's to a new chapter of seeing what works for me. If I start to feel that this move was not the right one, then I will take steps to fix it. However, I do not think that will be the case.

Here's to taking chances, moving forward, and maybe - just maybe, doing some good in the world!

My motivation