Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Hey, No Pressure

"I hate to see you breaking down (hey, no pressure)
I hate to watch you fall apart (hey, no pressure)
I want to help you through it all (hey, no pressure, hey, no pressure)
I want to lift you when you fall (hey, no pressure, hey, no pressure)"
-Ray LaMontagne

I have been a Ray LaMontage fan for ages. My brother, sister-in-law and I have seen him in concert many times. "You Are The Best Thing" was one of our wedding songs. So it's fair to say I like his music a lot.

Last night I downloaded his new album and this morning I listened to it at the gym. He is a bluesy, folksy kind of singer and not usually gym soundtrack material, but I just did not want to wait!

Song 2 - Hey, No Pressure. I was like...,"Ray? Are you singing directly to me?"

I have been under so much pressure of late and felt that I could directly relate to this song. I think that is why I like music so much. It often speaks to me directly.

When I left my job last month, much of that pressure was relieved. When I started really exercising again and taking care of myself, more of that pressure was relieved. In a few short weeks, I feel like I am coming back to myself and that is a great feeling. The pressure is less and less.

I get so caught up in myself when I am feeling bad that I tend to forget how to feel good.

I am back in control of my life and it feels good. It's so easy to get lost along the way.

Miranda and I were playing yesterday and out of the blue, she asked me if Zoe was all better and could come back home now. I explained (for the umpteenth time) that Zoe was in kitty cat heaven and wasn't coming back. She looked defiant and sad. She said she wanted her back.

That conversation broke my heart. 

Over the weekend, Miranda pulled a butterfly magnet off the fridge and brought it over to me and said it was "Allie the butterfly". 

That exchange warmed my heart.

Miranda is going to be introduced (and already is introduced!) to a lot of concepts in life earlier than I would prefer. In order for me to really be there for her and be the sounding board and support that I want to be, I need to take the pressure off myself and really take care of myself. Luckily, I am well on my way.


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