As a parent, one of your main objectives is to make sure your child is safe. Physically, I do that just fine. We have outlet covers on all the electrical sockets, car seats that have been checked and rechecked, suntan lotion with the appropriate SPF so that Miranda's delicate skin does not get burned and so on.
Physically, she is as safe as we can control. Emotionally? Well that is a different matter.
Last week we celebrated Allie's 4th birthday. We released pink balloons into the air with messages of love and longing written on them in marker. We tried to make it a joyous day. My mom brought over flowers and I picked up cupcakes earlier in the day, but the sky was dark and rain was in the forecast and there were more tears than smiles.
Miranda learned how to say "sister" that day. I know my mom thinks it's too soon as it is so very confusing. But it is confusing to us, too. How do I protect my daughter from something I do not even understand?
The other night after bath, Miranda was pointing to her belly and her belly button. Soon (not too soon, but still!) I will have to explain that she was attached to her mom through that belly button and that that mom was not me.
Miranda will grow up knowing all kinds of things that I do not think kids need to know about! But then I think of my friend who was diagnosed with diabetes right before he turned 2. Did he need to know the ins and outs of blood sugar before he was potty trained? Or I think about my other little friend who suffers from migraines and is not even double digits yet. I guess no matter how much we love and protect our kids, there are certain things we just can't control.
My mom still protects me. I can tell the way she talks to me sometimes that she says certain things in a gentle way to spare my feelings or to give me time to absorb it. I suppose as a mom, we are always protecting our kids - not matter how old they are.
Before I know it, we will be teaching Miranda about death ad dying and the truth about where her "sister". Before that, we will explain the intricacies of adoption and birth parents and biological parents. In the meantime, I will just keep putting her needs first, making sure she is safe, and loving her with every ounce of my soul. That's the easy part!