Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The Common Thread

I gave birth to a child that I am not raising.  So is Miranda's birth mother.  How strange that we have such a tremendous thing like that in common?

There is a thread that will always connect M (Miranda's birth mother) and me.  And her name is Miranda Hope.

8 days from now marks the one year anniversary in which we got the call that a birth mother had picked us to raise her child.  Our lives changed that day forever and in the most spectacular way!

There are nuances to being a mom that I never got to experience with Allie.  Nuances that M will most likely not get to experience with Miranda.  And while I am so grateful for the choice she made to let us raise this phenomenal gift, I can't help but feel that she is missing so much.

In the beginning, I resented the Skype calls a little bit and the visits were hard on me.  It was difficult to figure out where I belonged and where M belonged and although I vowed to do everything in my power for the benefit of my daughter, it was still tricky.

Now, almost a year later, my feelings have changed.  I want M to see what a beautiful and spirited and fun little girl she created.  Turns out there is enough love to share.

We have a visit with M on March 30th.  One day before Miranda turns a year old.  I am excited to see her and to show her what all Miranda can do.  I am giddy with pride and full of nothing but love and respect for this woman who changed the course of our lives.

I often wonder what life would be like if Allie were here.  Sadly, I will never know.  But M will.  She will know what Miranda is learning and doing and experiencing and I am so so happy that we can provide that to her.  It actually helps ease my grief in a way.

Here's to my girls and the common threads that unite us all!  

No comments:

Post a Comment

Learning to Love Yourself No Matter What

One of the problems with being a writer is that I use words as therapy. By writing my thoughts and feelings, I can often make sense of the w...