I gave birth to a child that I am not raising. So is Miranda's birth mother. How strange that we have such a tremendous thing like that in common?
There is a thread that will always connect M (Miranda's birth mother) and me. And her name is Miranda Hope.
8 days from now marks the one year anniversary in which we got the call that a birth mother had picked us to raise her child. Our lives changed that day forever and in the most spectacular way!
There are nuances to being a mom that I never got to experience with Allie. Nuances that M will most likely not get to experience with Miranda. And while I am so grateful for the choice she made to let us raise this phenomenal gift, I can't help but feel that she is missing so much.
In the beginning, I resented the Skype calls a little bit and the visits were hard on me. It was difficult to figure out where I belonged and where M belonged and although I vowed to do everything in my power for the benefit of my daughter, it was still tricky.
Now, almost a year later, my feelings have changed. I want M to see what a beautiful and spirited and fun little girl she created. Turns out there is enough love to share.
We have a visit with M on March 30th. One day before Miranda turns a year old. I am excited to see her and to show her what all Miranda can do. I am giddy with pride and full of nothing but love and respect for this woman who changed the course of our lives.
I often wonder what life would be like if Allie were here. Sadly, I will never know. But M will. She will know what Miranda is learning and doing and experiencing and I am so so happy that we can provide that to her. It actually helps ease my grief in a way.
Here's to my girls and the common threads that unite us all!