Monday, June 24, 2013


Although I do not actively participate in the UNITE meetings anymore, I cherish that group and all they did for me when I needed them.  I wrote more than once about the best group of people that I wish I never had to meet.  The people who know me, who get me, who have walked in my shoes and understand me.  Two of my friends from that group have recently had babies and I can't wait for Miranda to meet and play with them.  Another friend and her daughter have already met Miranda and I for lunch a few weeks ago and we have a play date scheduled for next week, too.  So although I do not need the meetings right now, I surely need and cherish the connections and am grateful for them.

Yesterday we discovered a new kind of connection.  Gary, Miranda and I met up with a family who was in our adoption group.  They took the classes with us, freaked out about the home study details with us, panicked when it was time to make the video with us...and then got matched with a baby boy shortly after us.  Their son and our daughter are 3 weeks apart.  So we met up yesterday to trade stories and meet babies and I was hoping it would be the beginning of something amazing.  And it was.

We were able to share our hopes and our fears about parenthood but also about adoption.  We were able to talk about the nuances of open adoption.  We were able to discuss terminology like termination of rights and birth parents.  We compared hotel stays (their adoption was also out of state) and the fear and confusion and then happiness and euphoria that went along with it.  It was amazing.

I feel like the connection we made with this family is one that we will cherish for a long time to come.  We are already talking about when we can meet up next and as the children get older, what kind of things we should do with them together.  Our connection will make them be connected and have (if they want) someone in their lives that they can talk about adoption with (should they want).  I think it's super cool!

Before we met up with them in the afternoon, I had brunch with some friends that I have known since my pre-teen days.  We went to Hebrew School together...and then as we got older, Dorney Park and Camp Ramah and NKOTB concerts.  There is nothing like the friends you had when you were in your youth - when not much else mattered but having fun and vanishing blackheads and who had a crush on whom.

Hannah and Miranda at brunch 
At brunch, as I passed Miranda around to my friend's 9 year old daughter (whom I remember all too well as a 12 week old!), I opened up about how much I am worried about going back to work in 2 weeks.  I shared how I do not want to go back at all and yet I really like my job!  I just can not imagine leaving Miranda.  My friends, 3 working mom friends, agreed that it would be hard.  I might stare at the clock all day.  I will probably miss her like crazy.  I might even hate being back. But they reminded me all the reasons that they went back and many were similar to my reasons.  They helped me see things more clearly and I left thinking - I can do this!  I can be a working mom! We are already planning our first Disney Trip (2017 - here we come!) and I want Miranda to want for nothing.  For now, that means I need an income.  And that's ok.   It's the connections I made and were able to keep that really helped me see the whole picture.

Our last but not least "connection" of the weekend came with the arrival home of my youngest brother and his wife.  After 21 months in New Zealand, Thailand, Japan, Bulgaria and places in-between, they have come home to settle and put down roots.  The minute they both laid eyes on Miranda, I could feel the love pouring out of them.  It made my heart soar and I am thrilled that my daughter has such an amazing family of aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents to help guide her way.  
Miranda and Uncle Jeff & Aunt Neda
And so with 2 weeks left, I will continue to make all the connections that I can and then I off to work I will go.  My mom will watch Miranda for 3 months so she is a little older when she finally goes to day care. We wound up choosing the same school we chose for Allie over 2 years ago and I know it's going to be just great for Miranda.  When October rolls around, it's off to school she goes.  Then Miranda can start to make connections of her own.  Oh my.

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