Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Call

She picked us.  It all comes down to that.  

We got the call late Wednesday afternoon.  I was sitting at my desk preparing for a course that I was to train the next morning when my phone buzzed and the display read "Blocked".  All calls from our Adoption Agency come up as Blocked as they need to maintain anonymity in dealing with their clients.  

My heart stopped.  A few weeks prior, our social worker called and as soon as I picked up, she said, "Don't get too excited.  I just need to talk to you."  She told us she had a birth mother who almost matched what we were looking for and needed our permission to be shown.  We knew this might happen.  We had filled out a key with what we were comfortable with and sometimes there are situations that fall outside the parameters of the key.

Gary and I spent the weekend researching and talking and making the decision as to if we wanted to be shown or not.   On Monday, we told our social worker that we wanted to be shown.

And then we waited.

There was one email that said she was looking at 7 families.

There was another email that said she was looking at 3 families.

There was an email that she liked our video.

Then there was the call.

"Are you ok with 2 legally enforceable visits a year?" our social worker asked me?  My heart exploded.  HOLY CRAP. This was suddenly very real.  "Yes, we are" was my reply.  That was why we chose open adoption.  As long as it is in the best interest of our child, we are ok with 2 visits a year.

"Ok," she said.  "I have to make a few calls.  Hopefully I will call you back soon."

Gary was home sick.  365 days a year we are together.  This week he was sick.  Shaking, I called him and filled him in.  He was as shocked as me.  I told him I would call back if there was more to say.

I sat at my desk.  My monitor loomed in front of me.  I had the phone in my hand.  I waited.

It rang again.  I tried to stay calm.  Our social worker identified herself right away. "This is the call you have been waiting for.  You can get excited.  She picked you.  Congratulations."

I have no idea what I said.  I know I ran outside and it was windy and my hair was whipping around my face and sticking the to tears coming out of my now puffy eyes.   I know I asked if she was sure.  I know I said thank you.  I know I asked her to send me an email with anything important because I would not remember anything past the initial great news.  

I called Gary next.  He picked up the phone and I said, "Hi Daddy".  He whispered, "She picked us?"  "Yes", I replied.  "She picked us."

The last few days have been a blur.  We are having a girl and she is due in early April.  That's REALLY soon.  She will be delivered in Delaware which is just about an hour away.  We will meet the birth mom this Friday.  We can't wait.

I have talked to our social worker since the call and she said that she can't believe how quickly we got chosen.  I just smiled.  Once we chose adoption as the path to grow our family, I suspected it would not be a long wait.

151 "likes" and counting on Facebook.  Calls and emails and texts over the last few days from PA to NJ to VA to Australia!  The joy that this little girl is bringing to our lives is already measurable.

We are hesitant to start setting up the nursery just yet. We have a bassinet and the car seat and the Pack n' Play all ready.  We have clothes and diapers and bottles.  Because we are being placed with a child outside of the state in which we live, we will not be able to come back with the baby into PA for 10-14 days.  It's a inconvenience, but a small price to pay. Once the parental consent has been signed and the Interstate Compact completed, we will finally be able to come home.

Once we are home, there are post placement visits and a myriad of other things to be done.  The actual adoption will not be finalized until close to 6 months.  That's ok.  We have waited this long - what's a few more months?

I talked to my brother on the way home from work on Wednesday and he said he will never forget that call.  Trust me, neither will we.  It was the day we found out that she picked us.  It was the day we found out we were going to be parents again. It was a damn good day.

A "rainbow baby" is a baby that is born following a miscarriage or still birth.


  1. The whole time I was reading this I had goosebumps. I'm just so SO thrilled for you guys. What an amazing call. Your second baby girl is on her way and in April no less. I will be on pins and needles waiting with you guys. Allie's little sister...has a lovely ring to it. Congratulations mama. <3

  2. Tip told me your exciting news the other day! Immediate tears to my eyes! Congratulations.... I would love to meet her someday! ... Steph Canzano

  3. I've been waiting to read the details! amazing!! and april is in like 3 weeks!!!!!! what a lot of emotions to process in a short amount of time, but I'm so glad you got picked quickly. Just in time for Allie's 2nd birthday :) Can't wait to 'meet' her!

  4. Oh I'm just bawling I'm so happy for you!


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