Dreams

Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant. I was meeting with a doctor in my practice that I have never seen before, but I knew his name. His office was full of boxes and papers and he assured me that he was gonna take care of this baby and that I was not leaving till I heard the heartbeat and he promised me that everything was gonna be ok. When I woke up, my heart was racing.

I got to work and turned on my computer and my sister-in-law who lives in Bulgaria sent me an instant message. She is 7 hours ahead of me now so she was already well into her day. She told me that last night, she had a dream that I was pregnant. Apparently, she and my mom and I were all squeezed into a bathroom looking at the test results which were positive and she had to convince my mom and I that I was pregnant because neither of us wanted to believe it.

 I am consumed with being pregnant. And now somehow, I have spread that half way across the world! I know I am not pregnant now, but maybe, somehow, there is a way this dream will come true. I want these dreams to make me happy, but all they do right now is leave me with a longing for Allie that is so intense.  If she were here, I would not even dream of getting pregnant right now. And yet, dream I do...