My Year in Review

Some say that when it comes to raising a family, the days are long but the years are short. I am not sure I agree with that sentiment. Everything seems short to me. The days and the years. And they all go by so very fast.

2018 was a whirlwind of activity. Gary and I celebrated our tenth year together. Miranda started kindergarten. I began a new job. I learned to live yet another year without my first daughter

One year ago on this very day, I was working as a freelance writer and having a lot of anxiety about my upcoming surgery. I was five days away from a reduction mammoplasty (which I told virtually no one about) and was freaking out.

Fast forward to today, and I am so proud of my decision. I am no longer suffering from back pain and shoulder grooves and the endless frustration of nothing fitting me right!

One year ago on this very day, I was upset about the weight that I had gained back and was having a lot of negative feelings about my relationship with food.

Fast forward to today, and I am excited to say that I joined Weight Watchers over the summer and am down almost 40 pounds and I am re-learning how to make smart choices and not be on a diet, but rather a lifestyle change. That may mean Chinese buffet for dinner tonight, but then it may also mean lots of water and salads in the days that follow! 

I am exercising again - a few days a week. When I want to run, I run. When I want to just walk, that's what I do. No pressure to do more than feels right for me.

Another year of being a mom to Miranda has been mostly joy (but a little bit of pain). Her fifth year of life brought questions about Judaism and adoption and jaguars and weather patterns. You can guess which ones we were able to answer. She is so inquisitive and so sassy and so much a part of both Gary and me that she takes my breath away. 

At the nail salon the other day, the technician asked if she looked like her daddy since she does not really look like me. She replied that she thinks she looks like both of us, but people get confused since she has straight hair and I have curly hair. Bless her heart.

Allie had curly hair. A whole mess of it. I have no way of knowing if it would still be curly now; mine went through phases when I was growing up. I sure wish I got to see even one of her phases or stages.

We added two kittens to our household this year, and it's hard to remember a time without them! They are silly and playful and make everything extra exciting. We are super happy they came into our lives.

From snows days to dance recitals to gymnastics class, we tried to experience it all this year. And we did!

My job at Laurel House has changed us all, for the better. I have started to teach Miranda about the joys of volunteering, and I have come to appreciate what it's like to work outside the home again. I have made solid relationships and learned so much. I know now more than ever that your home is supposed to be a safe place - a sanctuary, almost - and I will do everything I can to make sure anyone who wants that safe haven gets it. No matter what.

My job also put me in the direct path of someone who lost a child this year. Her agony is so familiar to me. It's like a dress I used to wear. Some days I feel like I have nothing to offer her, but other days, I feel like I am at that job just to help her navigate the choppy waters of grief. I am not sure which one of us helps which more. 

All in all, it's been a good year. There were more smiles than tears. Lots of happy memories at the beach and on dry land as well.

A few short weeks after the new year rolls in, I will turn 45 years old. Which is middle age. I could not wait for 18...21...30...heck, even 40! But 45 is stumping me a bit. I am curious as to how I will deal with that.

So that's it. 2018 in review. Some of it I would do again. Some of it I would take a pass.

In that respect, I guess it's not so different from any other year, huh?

Merry everything and happy new year!!