Monday, June 5, 2017

What Samantha Forgot

I recently finished watching the mini-series Big Little Lies on HBO. I absolutely adored it. The character development and the plot twists were so creative and intense. Before I knew it, I finished the series and I wanted more. So I found a book by the same author and excitedly began to dig in.

What Alice Forgot was an incredible read. I barely put it down. In my quest to be a better writer, I am trying to experience all sorts of writing. I am a big fan of this sort!

The main character of this book, Alice Love, falls off her spin bike at the gym and when she wakes up, she thinks she is 29 and not 39. She lost the last 10 years of her life, And she can't seem to get them back. I won't spoil the book by explaining any more, but I will illustrate how this book changed my thinking.

What if I woke up today and thought I was 33 and not 43? That means it's 2007. I was working as Marketing Coordinator at Dorman Products and living in my condo in Roxborough. I had just shed a lot of weight on Nutrisystem, and I was scouring the online dating sites like they were a second job.

My life consisted of work, the gym, my kitty cat Zoe, and my friends and family. I went to concerts and spent a lot of time trying to figure out of I liked beer with hops or without. There were also many wine festivals in there, too.

My one brother was married - my other one was not. There were no kids in our family yet, and my mom was constantly reminding me how sad that made her.

My dad and I saw each other but not all that much. He supported me and tried to be interested in my life, but it seemed like it was hard for him to focus on just me when we were out together.

There was a guy at work named Gary that I went to lunch with every once and a while. I am not sure I knew much about him back then.

Around that time, I remember talking to my mom about the idea of me becoming a mom, She pointed out that I could do it myself if I really wanted to. I did not. I wasn't sure I ever wanted to be a mom, and I knew enough from my friends that it was a lot of work and the idea of doing it solo held no appeal.

I was happy back in 2007. My life had meaning, and I was fulfilled by my work and my activities outside of work. I loved my condo and was proud that I owned it. I loved my little VW convertible, too, although I think I sold it a year or two prior.

If I woke up today and saw my wedding ring, would I remember the story behind how I got it and the man who gave it to me?

If I woke up today and felt my c-section scar, would I understand why it was there? Would I forget the agony of delivering a baby that never cried? Would I also forget the joy and elation of carrying her all those months?

If I woke up today and a little blonde haired girl kept calling me "Mommy" and expected me to make her breakfast and play with her, would I know who she was?

If I woke up today in the bed I have slept in for the past eight years, would I know where I was?

Lucky for me, I took one spin class once and felt so faint that I am not likely to try that again. So the odds of me falling off my bike and losing my memory like Alice are very slim.

Which is good, Because I love my life now, scars and all. The past decade has been an incredible journey for me, and I would not be who I am not if I missed it. Not even close.

Happy in 2017

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