Quarantine Life

Social distancing is a set of nonpharmaceutical infection control actions intended to stop or slow down the spread of a contagious disease.

Hard to believe when this year began, I had no idea what those two words put together meant.

I also thought I would never wait in line at the grocery store for more than five minutes without either huffing and puffing because my time was so valuable.

I never thought I would be googling "tips and tricks to help first graders learn remotely."

I never thought leggings would be my "uniform" each day.

I never thought my kid would live solely in pajamas.

I never thought I could go more than a few days without seeing my family, friends, or coworkers.

I never thought I would see playing outside as a gift.

I never thought I would have to cancel my daughter's birthday party.

I never thought about a lot of things.

It's been barely a week since we have been self-isolating, and my perception of the world has undoubtedly changed.

It's super hard to keep a kid entertained and work remotely and keep everyone calm at the same time. Which is why I am thrilled that Gary and I are in this together. Do not think for one moment that does not mean that he is happy with this situation. He gets the brunt of my anxiety. He just rolls with it, though. We have managed to find a routine that works for us, although if this lasts much longer (which come on, we all think it will), we may need to tweak it. I do breakfast. He does lunch. I do dinner. He runs bathtime. I do the housework. He braves the outside world for food. I do arts and crafts. He does the lessons. I do the bike rides. We all take outdoor walks.

Good news, folks! I like my family. Like really enjoy them. What a relief.

And what a disaster this would be if I did not.

I work for a domestic violence agency, and this is a TERRIBLE time for some of our clients, as you can imagine. We are doing the best we can to make sure help is still available for them.

This time in our lives is like no other. I hope we look back on it and think about what we learned and how much it shaped us.

All I know is that I have a little girl who may not get much of a birthday this year.  However, if that means she will have a hundred other birthdays, then we will do what we have to do.

I am sad and scared and find myself sinking deep into a dark place. I have had to turn off the news, put my phone down, and walk away from it all. Naps help. 

I am also cautiously optimistic that this will just be a blip in the story of my life.

All of our plans have gotten canceled or postponed. I am someone who thrives on plans and things to look forward to, so that is hard for me. But I am also someone who loves a lot of people who are older than me or are immunocompromised, and I will do what I have to do to make sure they are safe.

It's been a little over a week.

I will check in again when it's been longer to see if I have changed my tune. It's possible I will be singing a totally different song.

I thought it was important to get some of my thoughts down since I hope to never experience a time like this again.

It's ironic - as a mom who has buried a child, you think that THAT is the worst thing that can ever happen. Turns out, no one gets a pass in life. The bad things keep coming. It's how you cope with them that shows your true grit.

Family time

Make Your Own Scrunchies

Remote Learning

Outdoor Play

Paint Your Own Rocks

Us

Daily Bike Ride

Most patient cat ever!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means To Me

re·spect

/rəˈspekt/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. 1.

   a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

How do you explain respect to an almost-seven-year-old? 

My darling daughter. The sunshine and joy in my heart. The rainbow at the end of a storm. The most stubborn person I know!!

I am not sure respect is something that can be taught. Which is why I am having a heck of a time explaining to Miranda that she needs to respect Gary and me, no matter what.

Why she asks? Then she pouts. Often she yells. Then the inevitable foot-stomping ensues.

I am ok with having a spoiled child. She will want for nothing in this life, as long as I have a say in the matter. But I won't have a spoiled rotten kid. And there's a difference.

After a month of sass out the wazoo, I decided my punishments needed to be more extreme. When I take away the iPad, she plays video games. When I take away the Nintendo Switch, she watches a movie on Netflix. She has so much that taking away material things is of no consequence.

So, yesterday, I canceled a weekend away that we were planning, just us girls. Today I canceled a movie date that we had with new friends in the neighborhood. With each punishment, I am also being penalized, but it does not matter if she gets it.

SHE IS NOT GETTING IT.

Is it that she can't understand what it means to be respectful because I let earlier behavior slide? I refuse to believe that a month away from seven years old, she can't learn. She is excelling in her math and spelling tests. She brings home amazing projects that she works on in school. She respects her teachers. She respects her aunt and uncles. She respects my co-workers. So isn't it logical that she respect her parents??

She's better with Gary than me. He is firmer and doesn't take her nonsense.

Well, game on, my dear. I will keep canceling things until you get it.

It's my job to give her the tools to be the best person she can be. If that means she dislikes me for a little bit, so be it.

I swore I thought I had a few more years for this crap!

On the other hand, when she is good, she is so very good. She makes my heart soar and makes me so proud with the way she handles so many situations. We have one more session left in the art therapy that we have been attending, and then we all agree that Miranda is in a good place right now. She has the tools she needs to deal with her emotions regarding Allie, and I feel like we can "check the box" so to speak of doing all we can at this time for her.

Miranda also loves religious school. When asked if there was anyone from her class that she wanted to invite to her birthday party next month, she said her teacher! And she meant it. There is not an adult in the synagogue that does not get a hug every Sunday morning. When I peek in on her singing the prayers, often her eyes are closed, and her head is swaying to the music. Can you even?

So it's not all catastrophe! I just am frustrated that I have somehow let her down by not properly giving her the lessons that I am supposed to provide her with as a foundation in life. Luckily, no one is too old to learn. Even me!

I love my toothless wonder. I love the life we have. I love who Miranda is and who she is going to be...even if it takes us some canceled plans and exasperated times ahead!

Bigger kids, bigger problems, right?

So help me during her teenage years!