I got an email on Thursday from our grief counselor. I do not think we have seen her since Miranda was a few months old. I remember bringing Miranda in to meet her and having one last session of how to deal with our grief now that we were actively parenting. It was lovely to show off our new baby to her, and we have kept in touch over the years. I used to send her updates a few times a year. Then once a year. Now it's been a few years.
She had an opportunity for therapeutic learning for current and past clients. A way to keep the therapy and lessons learned still pertinent after your sessions are done. In replying to her email, I realized my content would make a great blog post. It nicely summarized where we are at this point in time. Here is an excerpt.
Things with us are good! In a few weeks, we will be packing up and heading to Disney World! Miranda will be SIX at the end of March, so we are celebrating a few weeks early. We have wanted to take her for years, and the stars (and our finances!) finally aligned.
Yes, you read that right. Six years old. Allie would have been eight in April. That's the funny thing about time. It just keeps marching on.
All in all, we are a pretty happy family. Miranda is everything that is right in this world and being her parents has been the most exciting journey ever. She is smart and funny and stubborn and sassy and every single day is an adventure with her. She knows about her sister in heaven and every time she sees a butterfly, she remarks that her Allie just flew by. She also knows that she is adopted and we still talk to her birth mother and visit her twice a year.
Gary and I are well, too. He is a Global Product Manager now at a local company and has traveled around the world with his work. He is challenged daily and likes it for the most part. He is six minutes from home, which is a big perk. If he writes the next update, he can elaborate on this part!
As for me, I started freelance writing a few years ago and actually got paid to write! It was super rewarding. Most of my blogs were on Kveller.com which is a parenting website for Jewish moms. I also wrote for stillstanding.com, a website about infant loss and surviving the aftermath. Each and every article was healing for me and gave me the opportunity to write about both of my girls.
A year ago, I went back to work for real. It's part-time, and I love it. I am the Volunteer Coordinator at Laurel House. We are a DV agency and shelter, and the work has been so rewarding for me. I am still home with Miranda two afternoons week, and when she goes to first grade next year and is in school for full days, I will see if I can add more hours, or keep enjoying my 25 hours a week!
During our free time, we spend a lot of time at the beach and the pool in the summers and doing whatever Miranda wants in the winters. She had tried gymnastics, basketball, karate, and soccer and loves each sport like she invented it. She keeps our schedule busy!
Our families are good, too. Miranda adores her cousins! She still has three on Gary's side and now four on my side. My mom is a big presence in our lives. We see her at least once a week. She has been a great help, and I am glad we have worked hard to make our relationship flourish.
I have somehow become a local source for all things related to baby loss. People hear of me through a friend or find my old blog and ask me for help or guidance. I just referred someone to your practice around New Year's. It's such a joy for me to be able to show people how you can come out of the other side of grief. And to remind them that some days, if you can't get out of because the pain hurts too much, then for crying out loud, just stay in bed. Self-care is the best care.
We hope you are well and thank you for the thousandth time for helping us put our lives back together after Allie died. Never would I have thought that her death could someday be something we could learn from or that the little time we had with her would be so inspirational.
Much love,
Gary & Sam (your former favorite clients)
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| Yesterday outside of a kids magic show. Allie's light shines bright. |
